since when are Chinese boyfriends caring sensitive and considerate? half of them are involved in repeated domestic violence. they are the products of poor education; they objectify everyone, have no concept of equality, only hierarchies; are preoccupied with "face". they only DISPLAY kindness because it is ... Full Comment>>

no worries. i also remembered that asshole with "rui" in his name. theres a lot of xenophobic nationalistsat CCTV, it seems. who would have thought? Full Comment>>

Face. Full Comment>>

Perhaps, but knowing Chinese rigid expectations and emphasis on appearances, even a properly trained local butler will be seen as a fraud, and can't provide the 'face gain' of a butler with a white face anyway. Face is what such a servant is hired for, after all. Full Comment>>

Yeah, the west portrays the East with certain stereotypes, for sure, but it's nowhere near the disdain that was once displayed for blacks (read Golliwog wiki if you don't believe me). Most modern media portray China as a markedly different, but balanced civilization with its own merits. Sometimes I feel that's ... Full Comment>>

You broke it, you bought it! The family were probably unhappy with a worthless daughter anyway. Good sale for them. Full Comment>>

Then these article writers have some explaining to do to the CCP. Confirming that Taiwan is a foreign country? They've publicly driven over 1000+ people with tanks for much less. Full Comment>>

Never heard of the bimbo before I came to China. She was paid by foreign men? Yeah, right. Hong Kong doesn't count. Full Comment>>

You might have overlooked the myriad assumptions Hadley makes about people who complain in his anti-rant blogs, and the constant suggestion that we ought to go home. He comes from Chicago, is black, and feels overjoyed to have financial stability in China. Good for him. But he tries to convert his gratitude into ... Full Comment>>

A nice preview of life with my own international boys. As a bilingual learner myself, I can predict that your (our) kids' language level will always lag behind a monolingual learner, until both have mastered the language. What that means is, at my highschool examination at 18 I received barely passing grades for ... Full Comment>>

Hadley, It's all been said before, you keep making contorted assumptions, generalizations and rationalizations about expats who are negative. Do you hope we will see the light of positivity? Your Smile Or Die attitude helps you mingle with nationalistic Mao-worshiping locals easily, and you should enjoy your time. ... Full Comment>>

Very good blog. From my own experience, it rings true, and I'm engaged in these exact struggles every day with my wife. How did you gain all these insights? Full Comment>>

I always thought the ayi's did it to annoy, so they wouldn't accept such a silent method. If this is true, spread the word. Full Comment>>

I want to warn people against considering this as a viable alternative to teaching. Think about it: As a teacher, you are useful if not vital to the success of the school, and they will try to keep you on, even if they don't like you personally. In a butler's situation, you are an incidental novelty to them, useful ... Full Comment>>

Even a simple thing like closing the toilet door while you're busy inside is a major effort, only occasionally accomplished, regardless of who is walking around in the house. LOCKING the door? Ha! Don't hold your breath. Full Comment>>

Starving farmers' girls... they want fat cats. Fit is for farmers. Full Comment>>

China (racist parents & children) want a monkey petting zoo for foreigners, so thats what they have. the salary for, and availability of these nonsense jobs make it clear what china wants us to do and be. education in objectification and functional rigidity. i'd love to find a job where my actual skills and ... Full Comment>>

"Hadley didn't really say anything too insightful but at least it was from the heart and relatively upbeat. Nobody really wants to listen when you cry about the terrible things that you must endure in life." http://www.amazon.com/Smile-Die-Positive-Thinking-America/dp/1847081355 Do you have your copy? Full Comment>>

Yup, they all sound like avenues of fortune that any clever entrepreneur without connections to the government or starting capital could engage in. Great opportunities here in China! Full Comment>>

Everyone was drunk, and nobody got hurt. For all we know, they all hail from the same campus, *including* the Chinese guy. But of course we will never know. Xenophobic outrage successfully generated: State media have milked the situation for what it was worth to them, and there will be no further coverage of details. Full Comment>>

So, you don't care about anybody but yourself, and believe in your core that everyone is the same as you in that regard. You've been assimilated into Chinese culture alright! Full Comment>>

Another article intended to generate dislike for Chinese women. Discouraging foreign competition is easier than trying to be attractive. Pathetic, Chinese men. Full Comment>>

To correct your assumptions: I don’t like it here, I can't go home (immigration), i definitely do want to, which is why I'm still here, complaining. Full Comment>>

What is it with these stories? Are they supposed to scare people away from marrying Chinese women? Full Comment>>

What is it with these stories? Are they supposed to scare people away from marrying Chinese women? Full Comment>>