Appearances vs. Substance, part III

Appearances vs. Substance, part III
coineineagh Mar 10, 2014 13:36

This, the last of a three-part blog, attempts to illustrate a very disturbing pattern I have observed in behaviour of many Chinese over the years, both in China and internationally: great care in appearances, but a lack of accompanying substance. It is divided into many chapters, each discussing a specific aspect of China in which the behaviour manifests. The chapters in this part are bolded below:

1. Intro

2. Education

3. Language

4. Family

5. Hospitals

6. Hygiene

7. Economy

8. Law

9. Politics

10. Culture

11. History & Mythology

12. Fiction & Television

13. Society

14. Racism

15. Sexuality

16. Biology

17. Propaganda

18. Synopsis & Credits

 

RACISM:

China believes in a brotherhood of all cultures in the world (world=China). Black people who have lived here for some time will confirm that Chinese racism is quite different from what they have experienced elsewhere. Since everyone thinks in static hierarchies determined by appearances of wealth and connections, black people are stigmatized by their looks.

 

Historic ties to slavery, and the poverty that many African nations are in currently, has branded them as inferior. In superficial Chinese society, blacks are disadvantaged every step of the way, and there is no remorse or consideration given. Their distinctive appearance works against them, and they are singled out with horrendous insults far too often. It's simply the way things look and are, and I ought not to care because I'm not black.

 

White people experience a different type of discrimination, where we are literally employed in a long-term scheme to improve the image of Chinese by portraying us as lazy, incompetent and privileged in comparison to locals. There are many forces at work in China that cause students to say stuff like "I don’t want to LOOK at his black face all night." about their long-term, experienced black English teacher.

 

SEXUALITY

Perhaps this is a completely unnecessary mention, but static view of reality has manifested itself deeply into Chinese relationships. Women demand a house and car from their suitor, regardless of his age. Since most people still marry young (children are the Chinese equivalent to a pension plan, after all), it means the family must pay. This leads to money becoming the overarching factor that determines the success of a relationship, with Hukous and other paperwork also considered. Good thing Chinese have no hobbies or interests, because a personality is a waste of time.

 

Children are taught by teachers that there can be no love without money, and even the Happy Goat cartoon demonstrates to girls that they should complain about their husband’s apparent failures with comments like: “I regret marrying you so much.” Also tying into static views of reality, the popularity of virgins in China is epic. 

Virginity is apparently taken on the wedding night, meaning many men will first see their wife naked *after* they get married. 

 

Talk about buying the proverbial lemon. The best way Chnese can make their partners happy, is by keeping up appearances. Because everyone is so terrified of 

embarrassment, for good reason.

 

BIOLOGY:

As an Evolutionary Biologist, I'd be remiss not to point out some of the processes that are playing out in China. All humans are subject to a natural (sexual) selection process called Neoteny, and it is the opinion of many scientists nowadays that Neoteny is strongest among Asians. It means that youthful-looking traits are favoured. Picture a female peacock being attracted to the male with the longest feathers (no matter how cumbersome it makes flying) and mating with him, and you have a good picture of sexual selection. Humans are hardwired to be attracted to apparent youthfulness, and it appears to be most important for women. It has lead to many positive aspects, such as longer parental care and family ties, larger human skulls and our ability to learn.

 

But at this point in time, the human race is not considered by scientists to be undergoing natural selection anymore. Populations are too large for changes in DNA to manifest in the majority population, and even the selectively 'inferior' reproduce relatively easily. In China, Korea and Japan, however, people not only like the look of youthful faces and bodies, but also young-looking behaviour.

 

Every Chinese woman knows that youthful good looks are the key to a safe and stable life. Those without light, young-looking skin are at a disadvantage. Personally, I think the youthful-looking behavioural tendencies that look good to Chinese are very harmful. Dependency, group confidence, rigid thinking, naivete, vanity, insecurity, narcissism, unfettered greed, childish wants, low education, backward thinking and all those other traits look good on women, according to Chinese men. Perhaps someone should remind Asians that our ability to learn and improve also stems from neotenic selection? China's tendency towards neo-Darwinian sexual selection based on wealth & attractiveness is reinforced by the inequalities in the country, people's tendency to stay near their birthplace, as well as China's inbreeding due to lack of immigration. But natural selection has no chance of occurring within such a large population unless the government plans to institute a zero-child-policy, as well as *massive* genocide. I'm sure most people don't want to see that, but I wouldn't put it past some Mao-worshiping Chinese supremacists just yet. And natural selection is hardly a desirable situation for anyone to live under. Chinese leaders with superiority complexes may believe that they're safe above the rest of the people, but someone should really knock their childish focus on who's "better" than whom out of their rigid-thinking skulls. With missiles if need be.

 

PROPAGANDA:

It's all phony, is my sad conclusion to the story of China's economic growth and apparent success. They mask their incompetence with overhyped, good-looking news stories, and completely ignore the failings.

 

A system of excuses and rationalizations are in place for defusing the unavoidable criticisms: "China is still developing, and things will improve given time. We must be allowed to deal with our issues in our own way, and will not follow the West. The West (Colonial Europe, USA) had all these great advantages we don't have." And every good thing about this country gets magnified out of proportion, to distract people with Chinese Dreams of a Glorious Future. Good-looking stories have served China well so far, letting the country gain admiration from the outside world.

 

But the truth unavoidably seeps through the propaganda net: The useless university graduates, the air pollution, the aggressive nationalism and related violence, expanding claims to international waters, a poor human rights record, neuralgic diplomatic reactions, obstructing UN resolutions, government internal land grabs, etc. The world is slowly getting a clearer picture of China, so the mystery, false admiration and respect wll eventually wear off.

 

Riding the housing bubble and relying on the artificially inflated image is finite, because it relies heavily on ignorance. If China wants to continue to be respected, it should shift its activities from windowdressed news stories to real changes. Otherwise, the international community will no longer be fooled, and may start to catch on that China is just a big phony.

 

 

keeping up appearances quotes | keeping up appearances # patricia routledge # clive swift # hyacinth ...

SYNOPSIS:

For expats like myself, married to China as it were, we'll find our sanity tested on a daily basis. This country can truly become great, but not without a BIG change in peoples' everyday behaviour and attitudes.

 

Substantial improvement requires that people shift their obsessive focus away from ego-massaging and superficialities. Dissenting opinions aren't to be feared - they should be openly discussed. Some moderation is called for in people's pride and outspokenness; there are more options out there than perfect, conformist harmony or violent revolt. Cultivate dignity in who you really are, not just pride in your appearance. Right now, it's all-or-nothing.

 

Rudeness or humility. Harmony or lethal violence. Success or complete failure. Expectations entirely met or not adhered to. People here need to learn self control, measured responses, consideration of others, and dignity. Otherwise, the country will remain a mob state populated with mostly cowards and schoolyard bullies. People should learn to cultivate their Adult ego state, instead of acting like Parent or Child.

 Keeping up appearances.

I'm scared. Not so much for myself, but for my children's future, and that of the Chinese nation most of all. And believe it or not, I don't just care about China because I have family here now. I just found out my 2nd child will be a girl, and I'm already dreading the thought of her starting a bidding war among myopic Chinese virgin-hunters when she grows up.

 

What if she *likes* her essential commodity status here, and doesn't feel the need to improve, and learn other skills? Will I need to rescue her after my in-laws marry her off as property to some rigid thinker? My first impulse is to escape this windowdressed burning building before it collapses, but as a well-rounded human being, I try to resist my animal instincts when they are destructive. *That's* what I believe I can teach locals.

 Photo Episode 1 Poor Liz, she always becomes a butterfingers when using Hyacinth's Chinaware.

We'll forever be guests in this place, so we must be careful not to slip up. We'll have to fake stupidity sometimes for our own safety, resist our urge to speak up, and just be the Dancing Bears that locals want us to be in the classroom and on the street. It can be nervewracking, but don't let the idiocy get to you. I don't know about you guys, but I intend to outlast the pigheadedness, and show the benefits of western social behaviour through example. Good luck to you all, out there!

 

 

CREDITS: many thanks to Samsara, Scandinavian, ScotsAlan, Sinobear, Sorrel, and all the great members with names that don't start with an S. Without your opinions and perspectives, this blog would probably have less useful insights. I'll close with a quote from expatlife26, someone who I strongly agree and disagree with at times. In bold is the quintessential summary of contemporary Chinese society, condensed into a single sentence:

"I also appreciate your positivity and good attitude very much

 

. I was tsame way when I first arrived. I REALLY wanted there to be something great and interesting about the culture here. Something positive I could take away. Unfortunately I think the reality is closer to a blend of the worst of both east and west. Our materialism without our earnest idealism, their rigid thinking without the loyalty and selflessness. I agree with coineineagh that the Chinese tend to 'keep score' about a lot of things that we don't. I think for me the turning point in how I viewed locals is after a couple years I decided it wasn't my place to make excuses for them. It's not OK for someone to be ignorant or selfish or bad mannered no matter where they are from. I started holding locals to the same standard of being interesting, ethical and fun that I would hold a western person to. There are some really great people here, but they are in the minority."

 

Disclaimer: This blog is copyright 2014 by T. I. de Jong, a.k.a. coineineagh.
All rights reserved. This blog is authorized to be hosted on the following website: eChinaCities

 

BTW, I'm still on the lookout for a more satisfying occupation, preferably where I can apply my talents (bilingual English/Dutch, proofreading, writing, etc.) to earn better income for my growing family.

Tags:Health & Environment Relationships Language & Culture Expat Rants & Advice Expat Tales

3 Comments

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pitchhill

Coineineagh, re: your posts and comments, I've often been at my wits end not having anything decent to read... Thankyou!

Sep 07, 2014 23:11 Report Abuse

coineineagh

you're welcome. i enjoyed writing it.

Oct 03, 2014 23:55 Report Abuse

coineineagh

A chapter got messed up in formatting. Since editing takes a blog down for a long time, I'll just paste the text here for easy viewing. SEXUALITY: Perhaps this is a completely unnecessary mention, but static view of reality has manifested itself deeply into Chinese relationships. Women demand a house and car from their suitor, regardless of his age. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_in_modern_China Since most people still marry young (children are the Chinese equivalent to a pension plan, after all), it means the family must pay. This leads to money becoming the overarching factor that determines the success of a relationship, with Hukous and other paperwork also considered. Children are taught by teachers that there can be no love without money, and even the Happy Goat cartoon demonstrates to girls that they should be materialistic and complain about their husband’s apparent failures with comments like: “I regret marrying you so much.” Also tying into static views of reality, the popularity of virgins in China is epic. Virginity is apparently taken on the wedding night, meaning many men will first see their wife naked *after* they get married. Talk about buying the proverbial lemon! The best way Chinese can make their partners happy, is by keeping up appearances. Because everyone is so terrified of embarrassment, for good reason.

Apr 18, 2014 23:10 Report Abuse